— Anxiety
The Vanderpump Rules star who believes in taking stock and understanding whose opinions really matter.
What keeps you grounded?
Some rituals I have for my mental health are pausing and giving myself a break. Often it’s because I’m overworked, overstressed, or over-emotional. So I need to give myself a break, whether it’s sleeping in, taking a day off, watching movies, having some tea, or lighting candles. I will create an environment for myself where I feel relaxed. I’m very into the concept of Hygee, embracing and taking pleasure in very simple things like having a nice warm scent and something warm to drink, a movie, playing music, and cuddling with my dogs. That makes me smile.
What helps you unwind?
If I need to go the extra effort, we smoke a joint or, recently, I’ve been microdosing psilocybin.
I don’t take antidepressants or anything like that, but what psilocybin has done for me is help turn everything off around me. Sometimes when I’m unable to focus or have anxiety, everything feels like a catastrophe. I’m thinking of everything all at once and with the microdosing, all you have to do is get in your car and go to the grocery store. I’m not thinking of everything that could go wrong or everything that has gone wrong. I’m not worrying about things that haven’t even happened yet. I took a couple of months off and then I did it again. It was really effective and I benefited a lot from it.
How would you describe your mental health, currently?
I would say my mental health currently, on a scale from 1 to 10, is a 7. There are good days and bad days. It’s definitely that end of the year sort of drag burnout, but I like the holiday season. So I’m getting that boost of serotonin.
How does intimacy and relationships impact your mental health?
I would consider myself to be an empath. I can often sense when my friends or my loved ones or my family are going through something difficult. I have to remind myself not to take on the burdens of other people, the trauma, or what they’re going through because I have a tendency to do that. Obviously, with the nature of my job and being on a show, you’re surrounded by that all the time and it’s encouraged, so it can be hard to compartmentalize that in my life. But it can also be rewarding in some ways to share in the happiness that other people get in their lives.
How does being on Vanderpump Rules impact your mental health?
Sometimes it is very taxing mentally and emotionally. It’s been 9, 10 years and I’ve found a bit of balance, but it’s hard because it’s my life. It’s my real relationships. They are not pretend arguments. But it also is kind of therapeutic in a lot of ways because you can’t run from problems. We are forced to hash them out and deal with it. Public scrutiny can be difficult, but I feel like I’ve gotten really thick skin over the years and I’m able to take stock of my life and understand whose opinions matter.
I don’t think I’ve gotten numb or jaded or callous. I’ve just learned to have better coping mechanisms to remind myself, okay, these things that I might read in the media don’t matter because I know what’s real in my life. I know what really happened. I know the relationships that matter. I know what’s important. I know what I value. It was hard to get used to at first because you’re sensitive and you can’t prepare yourself for those things. So I would struggle and I would let things affect me for days. But now, I let things pass through me a lot easier.
Would you say you’ve become more open overtime on the show?
I see the value in opening up on the show because the more I can open up about my life, as scary as it can be, I also see the positive impact it has on the audience and how people relate and not feel so alone. That’s the special part of doing reality television; it is a reality of your life. For so many years, so many people will say, that reminds me so much of something that I’ve been through, or you really helped me through this, or thank you for sharing about your body issues.
I didn’t know what the response was going to be when I opened up about my abortion. I understood it could have gone very badly because we don’t hear people talking about that very much, but it was really incredible. The amount of people that reached out to me on Instagram was amazing. People thanking me and sharing their stories with me. I love being able to connect and I think it’s really important to know that you’re not alone.
What’s your take on medication, like antidepressants, and supplements?
I try to get in some vitamins and magnesium because I’m probably deficient in a lot of things. I take Moon Juice Magnesi-om and it is the best sleepy time drink ever. I love magnesium, personally. That’s the only supplement I take because it has so many benefits for your body, your digestion, your sleep, and your joints.
What makes you stressed or anxious and therefore impacts your mood and mental health?
The future. Money is always a thing. I wish it wasn’t. I wish money didn’t stress me out because it just feels so unimportant. Life should be about stuff that feeds your soul and money just feels so empty. But it is one of those things, especially when you start buying a house, that can hang over your head.
Also, the future. I’m always thinking about the future and what’s going to happen, especially after these last couple of years of being so uncertain, sitting inside our houses, wondering how much longer, and trying to be optimistic or cautiously optimistic. I like to be in control. I’m not good about relinquishing and just letting go. I like to plan.
More Open Book Club
— Anxiety
Founder and podcast host of MG Method, Maxine Goynes, believes there is nothing wrong with saying I need help and I need support.
Read Now
— Anxiety
Vanderpump Rules star, Katey Maloney, believes in taking stock and understanding whose opinions really matter.
Read Now
— Anxiety
Chef and co-founder of Honey Hi and holistic nutritionist, Kacie Carter, believes self-knowledge is a gift. It’s a gift we give to ourselves.
Read Now